Today I…
Wake up
Feed the
dogs
Feed my
son
Get my
son ready for grandmas
Take out
Tuesday’s recycling
Go back
in to muzzle the dogs
On my 30
second drive to drop my son off at my moms I see her parked in my neighborhood. I transfer
my son from my car seat to hers. As my
son see’s grandma he greets her with a big smile and says, “tita” with excitement which is short for abuelita in Spanish which means grandma. His enthusiasm fills me up with joy!
My mom
says to me, “Te queda bien el rojo” which means red looks good on you in Spanish. I
thank her and jump in my car to drive to work.
As I sit there driving away my thought struggles begin. I’m struggling between my own defeating thoughts
and reality.
I attempt
to pray but fail.
I make a
U-turn to get onto route 66. I turn on the radio to WGTS 91.9 FM and the first song that comes
on is by Mercy Me - Beautiful.
The days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful
And praying that you have the heart to fight
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful
Before you ever took a
breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
In His eyes
I tear up.
God heard my thoughts and the longings of my heart. I thought how great to hear those words from the one you have giving your heart to.
God heard my thoughts and the longings of my heart. I thought how great to hear those words from the one you have giving your heart to.
More
tears rolled down my face.
I thanked
my heavenly father for always being there when I need him the most. I asked him
for strength and to help me connect with others to offer them hope today. I asked
him to help me remember the beauty of the cross and then remembered this verse in
Romans 5:6, “While we were still powerless Christ died for the ungodly.”

Another verse pops to mind, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made; your works are wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I
know that full well. My frame was not
hidden from you when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes
saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How
vast is the sum of them, they would outnumber the grains of sand – when I
awake, I am still with you.” Psalms 139: 13-18.
I go to my Holy Bible App and the Scripture of the day was in Romans 8:1-2, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”
I go to my Holy Bible App and the Scripture of the day was in Romans 8:1-2, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”
God at
just the right time threw a blanket over my heart and mind with his thoughts
and it calmed me down. He gave me perspective,
he calmed my anxieties and shielded me from my own defeating thoughts. He
gently pursued my heart with a song and suddenly filled my mind with the
nutrients of his words. Reminding me that this new life of hope and change is all possible because of Jesus' sacrifice for me.
After a couple
of hours sitting at my desk a good friend and co-worker walks over and shares
with me what she’s been meditating on for the last few days in Job 38. As she
leaves I turn to Job 38 and the title of the chapter is “The Lord Speaks”. How
true and fitting! I read all 41 verses and say quietly, “Praise YOU Lord for your ways
are higher than mine and your plans are better than mine. You take great
concern for things that are beyond my control and yet you are there taking care
of the worlds needs. I dare not ever question what you are doing.”
I thought
to myself – Lord, you will take care of me too just like you did in my mother’s
womb and just like you’re taking care of my child in my womb.
With a
sigh of relief I say to Him, “I am ready, Lord! Who will we serve today? Who
will we listen to? Who will we encourage? Who will we touch with your words of comfort?”
Captain, steer this ship. I am now ready!
God reminded me of how he captivates the hearts of his children despite how we view ourselves during difficult situations. We are always beautiful in our father's eyes.
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