Undeserved Love

Today Jon and I have been married for four years. In those four years God has blessed us with two awesome boys Gavin and Ethan including a handful of trials to fortify our union. 

I will be the first to admit that marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life and I'm grateful to have a partner in Jon to continually anchor me to persevere. I hate to admit this but when things have gotten tough in life I'm one to "Peace Out" emotionally and stuff all those emotions. In marriage all that stuffing has caused a surge of lava to rupture many a times. Can you picture it? It's not a very pretty site when that happens in a relationship. 

I'm learning some tough lessons - I say tough because it is relative to my own life experiences from past and present circumstances. One of those hard lessons is being open and honest with my heart. I know I'm not as open as I would like because trusting others doesn't come easy. One of the greatest lessons I've learned in marriage that I fail in application is found in this Scripture, "But God demonstrates his own love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8.

I'm learning to treat Jon like God treats me. This is not an easy task. While I was a sinner God sent his Son Jesus in my place to suffer a wrath I deserved instead of his sinless innocent son. It is so easy for me to receive God's mercy and grace but the challenge comes in when I have to love despite what Jon does or doesn't do for me. My heart gets hurt and all I want to do is display Linda's frustrations instead of showing love despite his shortcomings.

If I could alter the Scripture to read what I need to be like in my marriage it would sound like this, "But Linda demonstrates her love toward her husband, in that while he sins against her, Linda dies to wanting to display her wrath on him." When I think of God's love it is his grace that was displayed on the cross of Jesus for a sinner like me. Grace was God's way of ushering in a sinful wretch like me. I didn't do anything to earn it. My faith in his work called me to obey his commandments. 

In the same way, I am called to sacrificially love my husband not because all the great things he does for me but because of all the unearned love God has freely given me through his son Jesus.