You Are Beautiful!

Today I…

Wake up

Feed the dogs

Feed my son

Get my son ready for grandmas

Take out Tuesday’s recycling

Go back in to muzzle the dogs

On my 30 second drive to drop my son off at my moms I see her parked in my neighborhood. I transfer my son from my car seat to hers.  As my son see’s grandma he greets her with a big smile and says, “tita” with excitement which is short for abuelita in Spanish which means grandma. His enthusiasm fills me up with joy!

My mom says to me, “Te queda bien el rojo” which means red looks good on you in Spanish. I thank her and jump in my car to drive to work.  As I sit there driving away my thought struggles begin. I’m struggling between my own defeating thoughts and reality.

I attempt to pray but fail.

I make a U-turn to get onto route 66. I turn on the radio to WGTS 91.9 FM and the first song that comes on is by Mercy Me - Beautiful.

The days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful
And praying that you have the heart to fight

Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight

For all the lies you've held inside so long

And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful

You're beautiful

You are made for so much more than all of this

You're beautiful

You're beautiful

You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His

You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath

Long before the world began

Of all the wonders He possessed

There was one more precious

Of all the earth and skies above

You're the one He madly loves

Enough to die

You're beautiful

You're beautiful

In His eyes

I tear up.

God heard my thoughts and the longings of my heart. I thought how great to hear those words from the one you have giving your heart to.

More tears rolled down my face.

I thanked my heavenly father for always being there when I need him the most. I asked him for strength and to help me connect with others to offer them hope today. I asked him to help me remember the beauty of the cross and then remembered this verse in Romans 5:6, “While we were still powerless Christ died for the ungodly.”

His kindness leads us to change our ways for his ways. His kindness pursued us to death literally so that we can have direct access to God the father. Now that is beautiful love!

Another verse pops to mind, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them, they would outnumber the grains of sand – when I awake, I am still with you.” Psalms 139: 13-18.

I go to my Holy Bible App and the Scripture of the day was in Romans 8:1-2, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”

God at just the right time threw a blanket over my heart and mind with his thoughts and it calmed me down.  He gave me perspective, he calmed my anxieties and shielded me from my own defeating thoughts. He gently pursued my heart with a song and suddenly filled my mind with the nutrients of his words. Reminding me that this new life of hope and change is all possible because of Jesus' sacrifice for me.

After a couple of hours sitting at my desk a good friend and co-worker walks over and shares with me what she’s been meditating on for the last few days in Job 38. As she leaves I turn to Job 38 and the title of the chapter is “The Lord Speaks”. How true and fitting! I read all 41 verses and say quietly, “Praise YOU Lord for your ways are higher than mine and your plans are better than mine. You take great concern for things that are beyond my control and yet you are there taking care of the worlds needs. I dare not ever question what you are doing.”

I thought to myself – Lord, you will take care of me too just like you did in my mother’s womb and just like you’re taking care of my child in my womb.

With a sigh of relief I say to Him, “I am ready, Lord! Who will we serve today? Who will we listen to? Who will we encourage? Who will we touch with your words of comfort?”

Captain, steer this ship. I am now ready!

God reminded me of how he captivates the hearts of his children despite how we view ourselves during difficult situations. We are always beautiful in our father's eyes.